Off-Topic Tuesday: Mind, Emotions, Body and Spirit

I am a firm believer that mind, emotions and spirit are just as important to one's health as how we treat our bodies.

With that in mind, I have been continually striving to improve myself through prayer, meditation and trying to change my thinking patterns for years. It's really hard work, and it's a long, slow process, especially for a person like me.

I think I was born hard-wired to feel guilt and shame, and I can't deny that my upbringing contributed to that as well. I've often joked that if I were to take a lie-detector test and I was asked if I was the person who shot Lincoln, I would of course truthfully say no but fail the test. Even though I'm joking, there is a lot of truth to that. I've always readily taken on guilt.

I've spoken before about forgiveness, and I've come such a long way in that department. I've managed to forgive pretty much everyone for what I perceive to have been transgressions against me. That doesn't always mean calling up these people whom I may not have seen for years, and it doesn't mean that I believe that their behaviour was okay, but it does mean releasing the hurt, the anger, and the grudge.

What is the hardest for me is learning to forgive myself. Like so many other women, I am extremely hard on myself. Unlike many people though, I have a memory like an elephant and often late at night I remember things from the past, and have many times felt guilt over an unkind word or act that I may have made at the age of three.

However, in the last few years I have made some real strides in that area. I still have a long way to go, but I have finally been able to forgive myself for so many things that have haunted me for years, even some of the biggies.

The real eye-opener for me is that once I have forgiven myself, I release the regret, and that's given way to something new.

I'm finally, finally learning to transform my sense of regret to a realization of seeing those mistakes as learning experiences. I have started to see that I really did learn valuable lessons from many of those mistakes and those lessons have contributed to making me the person that I am today. I am not saying that I have this down pat, but I'm well on my way.

For years I thought that I had no real gifts. Yes, I was good in school, but that ended up going nowhere. I can't play a musical instrument, I can't sing, and I have no artistic abilities. I truly felt that I had nothing to offer the world.

I now realize though that I do have some gifts. They may not be tangible, but they are gifts that have helped me to be a better mother and perhaps a better person. I have compassion, empathy and optimism, and it's only recently that I've realized that not everyone possesses those qualities. They really are gifts! I now know that it was through the life lessons that I learned through trial and often error, that I was able to improve upon and to solidify these qualities.

It's hard for me to write what I wrote above, because it feels strange to "talk myself up", but I think that putting that in black and white shows that I really have made some changes in my thinking. Five years ago, I couldn't have made those statements to myself, let alone to family, friends, or now to whomever may read this.

I hope that five years from now, I have come even further in reclaiming my mind and emotions and strengthening my spirit. One thing I do know for sure is that as long as there is breath in my body, I will never give up.

'Til tomorrow. Love to all, and extra hugs to anyone feeling lonely today.

Spa Night For Mumma

Yep, tonight the boys are heading out and I'm going to have a spa night of sorts. Right now I'm sitting here with a head full of coconut oil in preparation to touch up my roots. I even massage the coconut oil into my scalp, as I find it makes the hair colour feel more comfortable for the time that it's on my head.

This will be the first time in over two years that I use non-cone conditioner after colouring. I plan to use a mixture of colour-safe non-cone conditioner and honey. Of course I will be microwaving the honey first, because as I've mentioned before, honey can and will lighten fresh hair dye unless it's microwaved. Microwaving the honey destroys the enzymes that allow it to lighten both dyed and natural hair.

I'll then be rinsing with a pitcher of a mild apple cider vinegar rinse. I can't wait to see how my hair feels.

I've made it clear that I have nothing against using cones, in fact they saved me during this time of growing out damage, but I really do like to feel my hair's natural texture, and it's not the same when using cones.

I hope it works okay. If there are too many tangles I'll just have to do a final conditioning with cones. I'm pretty sure that it will no longer be a problem.

I'm also going to do a few other girly things like pumice my feet and some other spa-like things that I haven't done in a while.

After that, some meditation and a movie is on the docket. Sometimes it's nice to devote an evening to oneself, physically, spiritually and mentally, and I'm looking forward to it.

AutumnLeaves, if you are considering colouring your hair, I don't know about this "staining" idea. I've yet to try any kind of hair colour other than permanent dye that covers stubborn grey.  Perhaps at a salon they have such products, but who can afford to go to a salon for every touch-up?

Since you did ask for ideas, I might suggest that if the time comes that you are going to use dye, consider splitting the difference between your salt and your pepper and use a shade of colour one or two shades lighter than your original natural colour. A cosmetician at a good pharmacy could help you with that if you feel you need it.

A lot of women find that a shade or two lighter is more flattering at our age than a darker colour--our skin's tone changes. Also the roots won't show as starkly as if you were to use a darker colour. It would be essential to stay in the same shade family, such as warm or cool. Of course, you may hate this idea, but it is a strategy that might work if you do decide to take the plunge. I still think you look lovely with your natural colour, but I would be a hypocrite if I didn't say how much I still love having a colour I love around my face.

Well, I am feeling a bit better yet than I did yesterday, so I think I'll finally be saying buh-bye to this latest bout of migraine/cluster headache.  Won't be sorry to see it go.

It's another beast of a day outside. The heat index/humidex as I type this is 40C/104F. I am so glad that I don't live down in the city. I'm sure the air is not too lung-friendly down there. Well, I do live in the city, but in this particular city, we call where I live "on the mountain" and the  area below the escarpment is called "in the city".

I'm off now to continue marinating in coconut oil for about a half hour and then the boys will head out and I will start with touching up my roots. Woo-hoo!

'Til tomorrow, my friends. Much love to all, and extra hugs to anyone hurting from a loss today.

Responding to Comments on a Sunny Sunday

There have been some comments left here that I've wanted to respond to, and it's likely easier to do it in a blog entry than to go back to the individual entries and reply. I doubt that anyone would find my responses in those past entries at this point.

Lulu, I really enjoyed hearing about your outing to Mapleview Mall, and I shared your delight with your purchases. I look forward to a time when I'm ready to get a few new pieces for my wardrobe, which is getting older and more worn out by the day. And you're right; I am a long haired girl through and through. I'm happy that you liked the Rose Bun, and while you may not be able to make a full bun at your length, you can likely do a partial updo Rose Bun, on a day when you don't mind having some hair on your neck.  Once the autumn hits, I love wearing half-ups; I don't know about you. Or you could try double or triple Rose Buns.

AutumnLeaves, I'm happy to know that I'm not the only gal with an inner geek. I have to admit that while fixing that computer ended up being more challenging than I anticipated, it was a very enjoyable experience. It certainly helped take my mind off the migraine.  

I simply cannot believe that your SIL told you that you need a haircut. You'd think that at our age, people would just leave us be. It really never ends, does it?  I do hope that you come up with a plan for your hair that makes you happy. By the way, the quotes on aging that I posted yesterday all had a great deal of meaning for me, but when I was typing the Barrymore quote, I honestly thought of you, and I knew you would like that one.

Oh yes, Melanie, it is exciting to see results when growing out damage.  Congratulations to you on hitting the 3 inch circumference milestone. Like you, I will never have extreme thickness, but I'm extremely happy with what I have. I can't imagine hair much thicker than mine has gotten, although I know people with 5 inches or more in circumference. I don't even know how they manage to do updos! So you live fairly close to where I live as well. I am so relieved that I'm not the only one who doesn't think that summer weather rocks. 

Linda, thank you for the kind words about the Rose Bun. Your hair will be long enough to do it before you know it! I think BSL with no layers is a great goal, by the way. I agree that it's something nice to do for yourself.

It was wonderful to hear from you, Agnes. I haven't been around the forums or elsewhere of late, so it meant all that much more. I'm so happy that you liked the updo.

Hi, andwife! I was happy to read your comments. I have to admit that I love hearing about people growing to new lengths over the age of 40. How long is your hair now?  Waist length is such a beautiful length, I think. It's very long, but not extreme.  I'm sorry to hear that you also deal with migraines as well as CDH. I hope beyond hope that you find that formula that helps you to feel better. I think the toughest thing about chronic conditions is learning to live within the new parameters that they cause. I'll never give up believing that there will be a cure though.

Hello to you as well, MissySue! I'm happy that you like the Figure 8. To answer your questions, when I did that updo my hair was about 24 1/2 inches/ 62cm long from hairline to tip. My hair is also medium in thickness, although thinner toward the ends. I have quite a taper at the moment. At your length, I could do a Figure 8 half-up.

Ohtawen, this is the thickest my hair has ever been, so I really appreciate your kind words. I confess that I'm in awe myself of this new thickness. It was entirely unexpected. I'd love to see a photo of your folded braid. I also do folded braids started closer to the nape from time to time, but in the summer, I find it more comfortable when I start the braid closer to the crown. 

Liliana, I am so happy that you liked the quotes I chose on aging. Every one has special meaning to me and I'm delighted that they touched you as well.

SchnauzerMom, thank you for your constant supportive comments. They are much appreciated.

To all of you who read, but do not comment, my thanks to you as well.

Most of all, thank you all for supporting me and wishing me well during this rough migraine ordeal. It's not yet gone away, but I think it's slightly better today. At this point, I've  been in pain for so many days that it's hard to tell.

I still have not touched up my colour, but since I've not been out much what with the migraine/cluster headache combo, it's really not a big deal. The added bonus is that it gives my hair a bit of a rest.

I've pretty much been living with my hair in a plain cinnamon bun right on the center of the top of my head since I've been under the weather. I find that to be a very comfortable place for a bun, as it doesn't cause "bun ache" for me. 

I am neck deep in dirty laundry right now, among other things, so I really need to start feeling better. Laundry is one of the tasks that requires a lot of bending over, and it's just not compatible with how I'm feeling.

Every day I keep hoping that I'll be up to making a new video, but that day still hasn't come. I'm still planning on doing a Figure 8 for my next video. I hope that when I'm feeling better and ready, my hair will cooperate.

I hope that everyone has been enjoying a wonderful weekend. 'Til tomorrow, my friends. Much love to all.

On Aging

These are quotes that I have read, savoured, thought about and loved. I hope that even one of them will inspire you too. 


"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?"--Satchel Paige


"There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age."--Sophia Loren


"A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams."--John Barrymore


"Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength."--Betty Friedan


"The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."--R.W. Emerson


"Sometimes, people use age as a convenient excuse. 'I'm to old too start something new', or, 'I couldn't learn that at my age.' Other people, though, go on to achieve their greatest accomplishments in life in later years."--Catherine Pulsifer, from How Old Are You?


"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."-- Abraham Lincoln


"To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age."--Thomas B. Aldrich


"The tendency of old age to the body, say the physiologists, is to form bone. It is as rare as it is pleasant to meet with an old man whose opinions are not ossified."--J. F. Boyse


"We grow neither better or worse as we get old, but more like ourselves."--May L. Becker


"Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns to be amused rather than shocked."--Pearl S. Buck

'Til tomorrow. Much love to all.

Hairstyle How-To: Folded Braid

Well, I'm just barely starting to feel a bit better, so I'm still not feeling too chatty, but I do have some instructions for a really simple style. It works with shorter hair, and looks great with much longer hair. As long as you have hair long enough to braid, you can make a version of this simple, casual style.

1. Make a braid high up on the head and fasten the ends with a hair friendly elastic.

2. Fold braid under and bring tasseled ends right up to the base of the braid.

3. Shape hair into place and fasten with a barrette or a spring clip. In these photos, I am wearing a Ficcare Ficcarissimo in Emerald. You can play around with the placement of the clip and how you arrange your braid. This style can look very different depending on how you place your braid and barrette. For a more finished look, lightly dampen the hair first and perhaps use Aloe Vera Gel, or hair friendly styling gel.

For every day, I like the slightly dishevelled look, as anyone who follows this blog knows.

Still hoping to feel better tomorrow. I'm hankering for a good yak. Thanks again to all who have sent get well wishes, and positive thoughts.

Love to all. 'Til tomorrow.