I have to admit that this kind of weather makes me a bit cranky. If conserving electricity were not so important for both the environment and the pocketbook, I would keep the house cooler, but I can't do that in all good conscience. So it's hotter and more humid in the house than I would like, and my mood is not wonderful.
Now I'm going to sound like a broken record, but if I don't get these thoughts on the page, they will be trapped in my mind, and right now, that would not be a good thing. I guess what I'm about to write is one of the reasons that I call this hair journey of mine a bumpy one. The road never seems to be smooth for terribly long.
Once again, I find that my mood leads me to strange thoughts about my hair. Dissatisfaction kicks in again, and perfectionism rears its ugly head once more. I have a compelling desire to start all over again, to get rid of the damage that I caused two years ago, and to get rid of the breakage that has now grown to just below the nape of my neck.
Of course these are just thoughts. However, they keep coming back over and over today. I have promised that I will not cut my hair without mentioning it here, invoking the 2-week rule, and allowing you, my friends, to remind me that it would not be a good choice. I have no intention of breaking that promise, and I'm not even close to invoking the 2-week rule.
Yet, I keep imagining just how nice it would be to start afresh.
Realistically I know that I would not be happy starting my long hair journey for a 4th time in as many years, and it would be just another act of sabotage. Having an ear-length bob is not where I want to be. I am now getting so close to being able to do more styles with my hair in the coming months.
However, it gets a little scary when I realize that if I were not holding myself accountable not only to me, but to all of you, I could undo years' worth of growth in a matter of mere seconds. And I wouldn't be able to take it back. There are no take-backs when hair is cut.
So, while I have had these thoughts today, I will not do any cutting or even trimming until my next scheduled 1/2 inch trim in September or October. I will do something nice for me and my hair today, and tomorrow, I'm sure that I will be feeling back to normal once again.
I just wonder if and when I'll ever come to a point when I don't have these evil hair days. I really hope so. It's not very pleasant. Was I always like this? Is it something to do with being menopausal? Does anyone else go through this? Am I really this neurotic? I just don't know. Perhaps I'll figure it all out one day. I'm just not there yet.
Love to all. 'Til tomorrow.