As much as I've learned to love my hair the way it is, I still sometimes get a little prickly when I read some articles by fashion experts or threads on The Long Hair Community and other long hair forums.
For example, just about every fashion/hair expert says that bangs should be cut no wider than the outside of the eyebrows. Mine are wider than that, and when I read or hear the experts talk about wide bangs looking funny, I start to feel self-conscious.
But then I remember that there was a reason why I ended up cutting them wider. It has to do with my face shape. When my bangs were narrower, my face below the bangs was wider than the bangs, and my cheekbones didn't show. With wider bangs, my face looks more proportionate to me, and my outer cheekbones are apparent.
Now maybe I'm wrong, and I would look better with narrower bangs, but I like the way my bangs look right now. Really, who do I have to please but myself?
Sometimes when I read threads on LHC, there are people who are staunchly against colouring away greys. For some of them it's because of the damage that certainly occurs with hair dye, but for others, it's about principle. They believe that nature knows best and those of us who colour our hair are refusing to grow old gracefully.
I am aware of the damage that hair dye causes, so I have made an informed decison to keep on dyeing my hair, and give it the extra care that it needs in order to grow to my goal length.
As for the "principle" about growing older and nature knowing best, well, that's all well and good for those who feel happy and confident with their silvers, but I love my colour and I don't want to give it up. I do feel as though I'm trying to grow old gracefully. I make no secret of my age, I see and feel the changes in my face and body, and I am not trying to fight it. I just love my colour!
I notice that many of the people who are against dyeing are also people who wear makeup daily, so it's not about being completely natural for them. It's about their hair being natural.
I would never tell someone with silver hair to dye it, and I don't understand why some of the people with natural hair try to make us feel "less than" because we do dye our hair.
I'm all about doing whatever we want with our hair, as long as it keeps us feeling self-confident and happy with ourselves.
To me, the only important thing is to make informed decisions. For example if you want to dye your hair, you have to know that it will cause at least some damage and will need extra care. If you want to flat iron your hair, be informed about the risks and the safest ways to approach straightening. And if straightening your hair makes you feel more beautiful, then do it, knowing once again that you may need to give your hair additional pampering.
The bottom line is that there is no right or wrong when it comes to hair care. It's about doing what makes you feel good about yourself, and keeping yourself informed along the way so that you can best care for your hair.