Sunday, October 17, 2010

Sunday Blues

I was up too late last night. I don't know why. I had no intention of staying up late, and I wasn't doing anything special or exciting, but nonetheless, it was close to 3 by the time I fell asleep. I was up at 7:30 a.m.,  and while that's a great deal later than I ordinarily sleep in the morning, it certainly wasn't enough sleep to keep me going for the day.

So I had a tired yet sometimes enjoyable morning, but I wasted the beautiful afternoon sleeping, only to wake up feeling completely out of sorts. I honestly don't know what's going on with me sometimes. I feel as though I have some grumpy, snarky entity taking over my body and saying and doing things that feel beyond my control. Is this something to do with pre-menopause? If so, I want to figure out how to fix it. Even if it's hormonal, it's no excuse. There has to be some way to get a grip on this moodiness. I've done a lot of research on the Internet, but I've found nothing terribly helpful.

Well, as I said yesterday, I changed the colour that I use to touch up my roots. I am quite pleased with how it turned out, but it was pointless to try to take a photo today, it was already too dark to take an outdoor photo, and as we all know my hair looks different in every indoor photo anyway. I don't even know if the colour change will show up in photos. In any case I'm pleased with it. It's just a touch brighter than it has been. I think after so long of using the same colour for touching up my roots, the length of my colour was just grabbing it more and more to the point that it was lacking in any life.

We shall see how this pans out in future.

I am feeling frustrated again by remaining in that hair length no-man's land where I'm still limited to what hairstyles I can do. I go over to my hairstyle website, and I look longingly at some of the styles I had done before, but even though I was able to do many of them at this length, due to my new increased thickness, I just can't do them again yet.

It's a bit discouraging. I know that my hair has grown a lot this year; I know that I am closing in on my next milestone, but I am getting bored of wearing my hair virtually the same way every day. I just have to keep on keeping on, I guess. It's just disappointing when I want to put a new style photo in the blog, only to find that it's not working for me

Maybe I'm just having a bad day, and things will look different in the morning. Right now, I'm just not feeling very good about myself at all.

Hoping to be more cheerful tomorrow, my friends. Much love to all.


  1. Franny, having been there, done that....I strongly suspect that what you are dealing with "is" hormonal. Each and every one of us experience the same yet different (makes no sense, but it is true) symptoms in varying degrees. I started with symptoms....sleepless nights, sweats, headaches, extreme mood changes, restlessness, etc. right around your age. It can be very trying indeed, I know, but it won't last forever, honestly. There are options, from prescription HRT to the all natural remedies, to help deal with your personal symptoms. I found that just knowing that I was entering menopause and informing myself about it somehow empowered me, mind over matter if you like. Eating healthy and staying fit really helped me, especially taking a "long" brisk walk right after dinner, I slept much better! I cut way down on coffee, none at all after breakfast. Now, all this said, you may not be hormonal at all, so maybe a trip to the doctor for a check-up and some blood work might be in order. OK, enough of the Mom Talk, I hope you have get a good nights sleep tonight....sweet dreams!

  2. Thank you so much for your comments, Lulu. I actually went 11 months without a period and just before that year that would allow me to say that I'd hit menopause occurred, I got my period again a few months ago. Since then it's been unpredictable, and in the last couple of months, I've been going out of my mind some days. I'm pretty sure what I'm going through is hormonal; it just feels that way, if you know what I mean. I'm just not liking who I am when I get this way.

    I'm still exploring options with diet, and trying the home remedies. I've spoken with the doctor, so he knows where I'm at and I know what he can offer if it comes to that.

    I guess the best thing is to just keep educating and re-educating myself. With PMS, the mind over matter thing always helped, but it was easier, because I could look at the calendar in those days to reassure myself as to what was going on. Maybe I can get to the point where it will help with this phase of my life too.

    Again, your comments really helped. Thank you.

  3. I went through menopause when I was 51 and I had a lot of moodiness and irritability. It will pass but it was tough at the time.


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